The Adventures of Social Networking
by tanknheals
Summary: Logan enters the world of Social Networking, thanks to the one and only, Jubilation Lee. Misconceptions fly wild, death-glares are shot, and total chaos ensues. What else is new?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi everyone! I've been sitting on this for a while, due to school, family, etc. But now I have a good portion completed, and this fic is ready to be shared. As always, thanks for reading!**

**Also, I don't own anything. **

* * *

I'm Logan.

Most of you know me as the grumpy, constantly irritated, yet dashingly handsome mutant who seems to attract trouble.

Well, for now, trouble seems to be afraid of the Wolverine.

Why? Geez, do I gotta explain everything? Okay, listen up; I'll only say this once. After the whole Phoenix shenanigans and crap got sorted out, the Professor transferred his entity, along with Jean and the Scooter's into new bodies. It was pointless really because they looked exactly the same. It spooked some kids though; I got a huge laugh outta that.

Things started to die down, and eventually life decided to give this old man a damn break.

One, I finally had a permanent place to call home. No more wandering, no more crusty and dirty as hell camper, just the Mansion. I had a room, a bed, and a dresser just like any normal person. Who would've thought that I'd end up living this life?

Two, I quit my beer habit. Yeah right, just kidding. This place finally gave me a mini fridge for my damn beer! Something about drinking in front of eight year olds poses a bad influence towards "impressionable youth", so I couldn't store beer in the kitchen. Assholes.

Lastly, you all know Marie, right? Cute kid became a beautiful woman before my very eyes. After the mini fridge, I knew my luck had ran out, but it turned out I was in 'fer a whole new surprise. Here I was, thinking that I'm no good 'fer her...that she needed someone less feral. Then, all of a sudden she tells me that she loves me despite all the crazy shit that happened to me in the past, and look at us now, we're a couple (Don't worry, she's legal). Take that, Popsicle Boy!

Yep, life was pretty good. I was less irritable around the mansion, more of a mildly annoyed state. And, I got to kick ass legally while getting paid.

Yeah, suck it Sabretooth.

Anyways, I was happy…until life had to come around and screw things up all over again.

Why, you ask?

Again, don't you keep up with the updates or am I some sort of gossip magazine? And, no I haven't been reading any! Try having your girlfriend's best friend throwing all her crap all over your girlfriend's room, completely ruining the mood when you go over there wanting a good back massage after a long mission!

Since Chuck wanted to be more modern, and apparently saw that advancements in technology would be better for the school, he decided to "treat" us to some new gadgets.

So, for the entire core team, he got us something called "smartphones".

I expected something much more fancy, like maybe a phone with a beer dispenser or a cigar lighter. But no, it was this black hunk of metal with _one_ button on the bottom. Where the hell was the number pad?

Then I was quickly corrected by Jubilee, telling me it was a touch screen.

Whatever the hell that is.

So I got some sort of tutoring lessons from the loudmouth Banana, yet I still didn't know how the piece of shit works.

She told me to put a password in, and I thought, hey that's pretty fricken sensible because I didn't want some ass-hat stealing my phone.

I attempted to type, "stayoutbub" but my fingers kept hitting the wrong keys. Who the hell made the keyboard so goddamn tiny? Some of us _men _have masculinity running through all parts of our bodies, not just the obvious.

After I finally typed in my password, which I changed to a four-numbered PIN code, Yellow told me to download an "app" called "Facebook".

What the hell is an "app"? Did they mean an "appendix", or some shit? And what the _actual _hell is a "Facebook"?

I could tell that Jubilee was about to laugh her ass off, but after one snarl, she quickly focused on the matter at hand.

Jubilee told me not to worry, and that she'd download this "Facebook" "appendix" crap, so that I'd "fit in" and wouldn't be "excluded".

Uh, is the bubble-gum shit she chews making her delusional? We're _mutants_, a "Facebook" won't make us any more normal than we were before.

That got me an eye-roll….

And another snarl for her, that'll shut her yap for a while.

About fifteen minutes later, Jubilee returned my cellphone and told me that I should make an account on Facebook, because it was vital if I didn't want to compromise the security of team.

I think she'd be a good politician.

Anyways, at this very moment I'm sitting in my bedroom since Marie's gone off with Jubilee, and I'm staring at this dumb ass phone.

After I unlock my phone, I see a lone blue icon with a white "F" floating at the top of the screen.

**Facebook**

Hmph, well I guess I could give it a try. Jubilee mentioned that Marie already had a Facebook account, so I guess I could help protect her there too.

How bad could it be, really?

* * *

"So how's Logan with his new phone?"

"Oh it's great, Chica…don't worry! I downloaded Facebook for him to use so that he doesn't seem out of time or anything," Jubilee replied to her best friend.

The two were sharing a pint of ice cream on the couch in the rec room.

"Yeah, because having a growly one-hundred-year old man on Facebook would take _years _off of him."

"You never know, babe! This may be the breaking point…will Wolvie finally get with the 21st century?" Jubilee said with mock suspense.

"He doesn't like being called Wolvie," Rogue deadpanned.

"Or will he be doomed to old age forever?" Jubilee continued anyways.

"You sound like a crappy, low budget movie trailer," Rogue snorted, and took another scoop of ice cream.

"Seriously, Roguey!" Jubilee said, "Maybe he'll finally start acting like a thirty-something year old man with this phone. You know I'm magical at life transformations. I mean, come on…Dr. Phil doesn't have anything on me!"

"Well, Dr. Lee, these next few days should be interesting," Rogue winked.

"Amen to that, Chica!"

* * *

**Please excuse the change in perspective. The rest of the story will be written in third-person :)**

**Review, please! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hi everyone! I am so sorry I couldn't update sooner. School got in the way (yay chemistry), and then soon enough, it was exam week. I'm so happy all that is over with, and now I'll have time to finish this! Enjoy!**

* * *

Logan finally got around to signing up for that stupid website Jubilee kept blabbering about.

"Hmph, let's see…" he mumbled, as he tapped on the blue icon on the screen of his phone.

After being assaulted by a painful bright blue background, Logan tapped on the "Sign Up" button below the Log-in screen.

**First Name:**

**Last Name:**

**Your Email:**

**Re-enter Email:**

**New Password:**

**Birthday:**

**Gender:**

**By clicking Sign Up, you agree to our Terms and that you have read our Data Use Policy, including our Cookie Use.**

Logan looked at the first field. Okay, that wasn't too difficult, his first name was quite simple.

"Logan"

Last name. Well, he was more than thankful to the Professor and his mind digging. They finally discovered some remnants of his past, one of which included his last name.

"Howlett."

His e-mail? Wait, what was his assigned school e-mail again? Oh, yeah… logan at xaviersschool . com

Re-enter e-mail? Jesus, he didn't have all the time in the world! Logan grunted as he typed his e-mail again on the tiny keypad of his phone.

Password? He wracked his brain for a password that was clever and cunning.

"molsons123"

Birthday. He didn't think it would be appropriate to set his age as one hundred and thirty years old. Instead, Logan thought that he looked around thirty-one-ish, which was acceptable since Marie was already twenty-three. The age difference wouldn't be too strange.

Gender. No doubt that Logan was an alpha male, the easiest question.

"By clicking Sign Up…"

Logan barely skimmed through the disclaimer. Jubilee said to ignore it and just hit the "Sign Up" button. This was the only time he actually did what he was told.

After hitting the "Sign Up" button, Logan was greeted by a page that asked him if he knew any friends that were already on Facebook. Well no shit he already had friends!

"_Hmph, why else would I be wasting my time on this?"_ Logan thought.

He hit the "Find Friends" button and after a few moments of loading, was brought to a new screen filled with the entire staff of Xavier's School. Again, Logan blindly hit "Add Friend" for the entire list, since the Firecracker had told him it would, "save some time for old people that don't understand the Internet".

The next step included high school and employer information. Logan snorted at the screen and left that section blank, like hell if he could remember anything about high school. As for employer information, he typed out "The Best There Is" and hit next.

Lastly, he was asked to upload a profile picture.

Scrolling through his smart phone, he found a nice picture of him on his new Harley. Badass factor? Check.

Well, his account was set up. Now what?

Logan stared at his phone until a small "1" on the top corner of his screen appeared under what seemed to be a…globe?

He tapped the number to see what all the fuss was about.

"Jubilation Lee has accepted your friend request."

Oh great, his first friend was the firecracker. That was definitely the highlight of his life on this Facebook crap_._

Moments later, another "1" appeared on the top corner of his screen, so he tapped it again.

"Jubilation Lee posted on your timeline."

What the hell was a timeline? There was no way these Facebook people knew anything about his life!

Logan was absurdly confused. In attempt to get rid of the notification screen, he hit the wrong area and was redirected to his own profile.

"_I look so badass on that Harley,_" Logan thought, as he admired his own profile picture.

He scrolled down on his profile when he saw a horrendous picture of Jubilee, followed by a message.

"FIRST! Wassup Wolvie?! I see that you made it alive! You better be nice to me, or I'll upload embarrassing photos onto your timeline LOL. Laterrrrr ~"

She was more obnoxious online than she was in real life. If only he could post a growl onto her "timeline", but it wouldn't have the same effect.

Moments later, he received more notifications.

"Charles Xavier has accepted your friend request."

Logan attempted to hold back a snort. Ain't Chuck a little old to be on Facebook?

"Ororo Munroe has accepted your friend request."

Yeah, he could tolerate 'Ro.

"Kitty Pryde has accepted your friend request."

Great, the Banana and Marie's other squeal-y friend.

"Hank McCoy has accepted your friend request."

Eh, Beast ain't that bad.

"Bobby Drake has accepted your friend request."

Hahahaha! Ice Dick.

"Scott Summers has accepted your friend request."

What? How did that happen? He needed to get Jubilee to fix that. It's enough dealing with Scooter on a daily basis, but there is NO way that Logan, _The Wolverine, _would be friends with One-Eye online.

"Warren Worthington III has accepted your friend request."

Who was that again? The kid with the wings?

"Jean Grey has accepted your friend request."

Oh, great. He added the Queen of Moodswings-and-PMS? Jubilee better know how to reverse that shit.

"Remy LeBeau has accepted your friend request."

Ugh, the weird, sleazy guy that's been making eyes at _his_ Marie.

"Marie D'Ancanto has accepted your friend request."

Finally! It was time to show everyone that Marie was _his_, even on the Internet!

Logan went back to his home screen and was greeted by a box.

"_What's on your mind?"_

Logan smirked and typed, "Marie is MINE. To all you lonely assholes out there! (Ice Dick and Cajun) So, keep your dick in yer pants! Oh and Scott Summers is a pansy."

Logan grinned evilly, as he hit, "Post". Now everyone will know to keep their hands off of his mate, _and, _what Mr. Fearless Leader's true persona really is.

After speaking his mind, Logan began to scroll down his Newsfeed mindlessly, making sneering comments to himself with each "story". Obviously these people had fragile egos, so he couldn't actually _write_ the comments in the section given.

"_What's up with some of these kids and song lyrics? Go tell it to your diary! There are some things a healing factor can't handle."_

"_Are you really telling the world that you're eating breakfast? Who gives a shit?"_

"_Wow, boohoo, cry me a river your boyfriend broke-up with you. But do you need to update us every second about your "feelings"?"_

"_Holding onto a bottle of Vodka? Jeez, my douche-bag radar's going off. Oh, and Vodka is for pansies, might as well drink cranberry juice."_

"_How many times do you need to change your profile picture within an hour?"_

Seeing as Logan had enough with the pointless updates on the lives of others, he decided to get off of his phone, and do something productive. Preferably with Marie. Maybe procreating.

However, what Logan failed to realize is that his clumsy, large index finger hit the "Like" button on a particular story:

Jean Grey has gone from "In a Relationship" to "Single".

* * *

**Please Review! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you to all who have reviewed and favourited! It really means a lot, and it keeps me motivated! :)**

* * *

***beep beep!***

A groggy Logan cracked open his eyes to see his phone illuminated.

"Scott Summers commented on your status."

He didn't really give a shit, but he decided to check it out anyways.

"Logan, I will not deal with threats made over the Internet. Speak to me if you have something to say."

Well that got a throaty laugh. Even on Facebook, Scooter was an uptight daffodil.

Rubbing his face, Logan decided to get ready, throw on a shirt and a pair of jeans, and head downstairs for breakfast.

By the time he was ready, he made his way down, only to be ambushed.

"Logan!"

It was Jean-wow-look-at-me-I'm-fantastic Grey. Ever since Jean failed to provide a wedding date for Scott _twice_, he kicked her to the curb. It was obvious to everyone that she was second-guessing her relationship with Scott, and he was tired of waiting. After that break-up, Jean became the biggest bitch in the mansion. Her nose was held higher than anyone else's, and she was determined to prove to everyone that _no one_ was capable of dumping Jean Grey. She dated a bunch of faceless strangers as some form of rebound, and to feed her growing ego. Logan almost felt bad for her, but her insecurities proved to be her greatest downfall.

"What the hell do you want?" For God's sake, it was 9:00AM, he was not ready to banter with Jean at such a painful hour.

"I need your help," she replied, in a soft voice, almost worriedly.

"Well, I'm kinda busy right now, go ask someone else," Logan said, as he attempted to push past her.

"Please, Logan, I can't ask anyone else," Jean responded, hurriedly.

"Come on, Red. Aren't you the one bragging about how you can get any man to do anything for you, with the blink of an eye?" Logan quipped.

Jean huffed.

"Listen, Ororo's at an overnight pick-up, and left me in charge of her ferret," she explained, "but when I tried to open up the cage to feed him, he bolted out and now he's hiding _somewhere_ in my room."

"That's your problem, Lady." Logan snorted, and began to walk away. Even a ferret could sense that Jean was a cold-hearted bitch.

"Wait! Logan!" Jean called, as she pulled him back. "I need _your_ help because you're feral. Can't you sniff him out for me? Ororo will kill me if I lost her ferret. I won't bother you again."

"Fine, but you're gonna give me the keys to Xavier's boathouse for a month." Logan stated. Thinking that he and Marie could use some well-needed alone time, away from the hectic mansion, and _especially _from the cold attitude, and heated glares from Jean.

"Two weeks."

"Three and a half, and I ain't gonna negotiate."

"Fine. Just get in there and find the stupid animal!"

"Oh, and it'd better be clean and stocked with beer."

"Yeah, yeah."

* * *

Jubilee was getting ready, for yet another, spectacular day. She did her hair, and picked out a stunning outfit, all while checking her Facebook account.

First, she did her "Birthday Routine", and sent wishes to anyone who was graciously aging. Then, she made sure to poke a bunch of her friends, including her newest addition, Mr. Wolvie. Hehehe, he was going to get irritated by that. After that, she began scanning through her Newsfeed. There was the usual status update; so-and-so is excited for this, so-and-so is upset with their boyfriend, so-and-so just changed their profile picture. There wasn't anything eye-catching, but she needed her fix of gossip around Xavier's School because nothing was quiet for too long.

Humming the lyrics to her favourite song, Jubilee put on her shoes and was ready to head downstairs. As she continued to scroll through her Newsfeed, she stopped at a particular story.

_Jean Grey has gone from "In a Relationship" to "Single"._

"Well, what a surprise," Jubilee thought, sarcastically.

What really caught her attention were the words beneath it.

_Logan Howlett likes this._

* * *

Logan walked into the Red Head's room to find it, surprisingly, a mess.

"You know, for such an anal person like you, your room is pretty messed up," Logan scoffed.

"That's the aftermath of finding that damn ferret with my telekinesis!"

"Alright," Logan said, "Shut the door, don't want him escaping on us."

Jean complied, and closed the door.

"Where's the little fucker?" Logan grumbled, as he sniffed around.

The room mostly smelt of some floral crap Jean drowned herself in on a daily basis, with a faint undertone of Scooter from when they shared a room. That was not a pleasant scent, and he was itching to get the hell out of there.

Logan looked around, using both his sense of smell and hearing to pinpoint where the animal could be.

Suddenly, he saw a blur of black and white fur scurry underneath a pile of clothes. Logan lunged for the ferret, with a quick and agile motion, and managed to grab hold of it, but also made sure not to kill it.

Unfortunately, Logan's phone chimed, and the tube-sock-like animal quickly scurried away from Logan's grasp.

Frustrated, Logan checked his phone.

"Why do people send me the randomest shit on Facebook?" Logan contemplated, "Does it look like I care about this Farmville crap? Do I look like the type to be takin' care of cows during my spare time?"

"Logan, focus! The thing's going for my make-up!" Jean screamed.

Logan was _not _in a mood to be bested by a ferret.

He ran for Jean's make-up counter, to grab the thing by its tail, but the little fucker was quick. The creature stared at Logan with its beady eyes before darting away, only resulting in eye-shadow compacts, containers of face cream, primers, correctors, tubes of lipstick, and perfume bottles flying everywhere.

"My make-up!" Jean shrieked, devastated by the destruction of her prized possessions. She attempted to salvage the remains of her oh-so-precious floral perfume, by spritzing on the scent from the near-broken bottle.

Meanwhile, Logan began to chase the ferret around the room, all while tripping on Jean's mess every now and then, Facebook notifications on the fritz, and having his senses attacked by Jean's perfume.

The ferret ran towards Jean's direction, attracted by the floral spray, and managed to climb up her leg.

"GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Jean screamed, as she attempted to pry the ferret off of her leg. "It just clawed a hole through my tights!"

"Don't kill the damn thing!" Logan yelled.

The ferret made its way to the top of Jean's head, nestling on her red hair, clearly intrigued by the colour.

"Get. This. Thing. Off. Of. Me." Jean demanded, her face fuming.

Logan grabbed the ferret cage, while Jean used her telekinesis to lift the ferret off her head, and right into the cage. Logan locked the bastard in, and triple-checked the cage door to avoid the predicament from happening again.

After taking a moment to catch their breath, Jean spoke up.

"Well, thank you," she said, rather coldly.

"Just remember your end of the deal, Red." Logan growled as he opened the room door.

"Right. I'll have everything prepared, just meet me tonight at 7:00," Jean replied.

* * *

Jubilee did not want to believe what she just saw. It had to be a mistake; Logan _loved _Marie with all his growly heart!

Maybe she'll try to be rational. She'll sit down with Logan, and ask him what was really going on. Maybe he didn't understand what the "Like" button meant, and pressed it because it was super-tempting?

"_That sounds like a plan," _Jubilee nodded to herself.

Two voices caught her attention as she neared Jean's room. She quickly hid behind an extremely leafy plant, and began to use her epic spy skills.

"….just meet me tonight at 7:00,"

It was Jean.

And…Logan?!

Jubilee couldn't believe her eyes! She had to cover her mouth to prevent herself from screeching in shock.

"_No it had to be a misunderstanding, this is totally not happening right now!" _she attempted to convince herself.

Based on their disheveled and messy appearance, her thoughts were proven otherwise. Logan looked like he just got out of bed, while Jean's hair was messy and there was a hole in her tights.

As a best friend, she had to warn Marie about what just conspired A.S.A.P.

Jubilee raced down to the kitchen when the coast was clear, to look for Marie.

"Roguey?" she called, only to have a group of students stare at her.

Well that was no help.

Jubilee dashed out of the kitchen to find someone, _anyone,_ who knew of Rogue's whereabouts.

Since the halls were just about empty, Jubilee decided to find her the old-school way – barging through every door and crevice she could fit through.

Jubilee opened the first door she saw.

The eyes of twenty small children turned around and stared at her, along with Kitty.

"Jubes!" Kitty scowled, as she ran towards her, "you know it's Saturday activity time for the little ones!"

"Sorry! Have you seen Rogue?" Jubilee inquired.

"She woke up pretty early," Kitty replied, "she could be anywhere by now."

"Thanks, babe." Jubilee said, as she crept away, "Stay in school kiddies!"

Jubilee barged into the garage next, to find Scott fixing up the Blackbird.

"Hey Scott," she greeted.

"Oh, hi, Jubilee," he said, rather distracted.

"Uh, have you seen Rogue around?"

"No, not recently," he said, "Hey can I ask you something?"

"Sure?"

"Am I really a pansy?" Scott asked, finally taking his eyes off of his work.

Jubilee snorted. It was a reference to Logan's status update. "Scott, you look nothing like a purple flower to me. You're more of a petunia or a tulip. Gotta run, see ya!"

Jubilee's search ended up fruitless, until she saw a flash of brown hair carrying a picnic basket, head towards the gazebo. With incredible speed, she ran to the main entrance, zipped through the field, until she finally caught up with her best friend.

"Rogue!"

"Oh, hey Jubes!" Rogue smiled, as she began to remove the contents of her basket.

"Listen Roguey, I gotta-"

"Sorry Jubilee, could you hold these glasses for a sec?" Rogue asked, as she began to unfold a white blanket, and set it on the gazebo table.

"What's the occasion, Chica?" Jubilee questioned.

"Logan and I made plans for tonight, and I thought I'd surprise him with a nice steak dinner on the gazebo for once, rather than one of those roadside restaurants." Rogue said, while folding napkins neatly into triangles.

"Roguey, I have something important to tell you…about Logan," Jubilee said, poking her index fingers together, sheepishly.

Rogue's head snapped up, "Why? Is he hurt?"

"No! No, nothing like that," Jubilee replied, "But I'm afraid you might be hurt…"

"Care to explain?"

"Well, I was on Facebook this morning, aaaannnd, your Wolvie liked Jean's relationship update," Jubilee explained.

"That's it?" Rogue chuckled, "Maybe he just did that to rile up Scott again, you know men and their superiority complex."

"Babe, as much as I don't want to believe it…I saw Logan come out of Jean's room this morning," Jubilee said, in a quiet voice.

Rogue nodded, with her eyebrows furrowed.

"And they looked, well…suspicious," Jubilee frowned.

Rogue immediately knew what Jubilee was implying. A split second later, the most heartbreaking sight appeared before Jubilee's eyes. Her best friend dropped the beautifully folded napkins she was holding, and sadness washed over her.

"Roguey, you know I wouldn't make up lies under _any_ circumstance," Jubilee stated.

"I know, sugar," she smiled, "You're my best friend, and I trust you. I just can't bring myself to believe it."

Jubilee gave her friend a well-needed hug.

"I think – I think I'm going to go ahead with the dinner anyway."

"What? Are you out of your mind, sister?" Jubilee protested, with absolute shock.

"I just want to sit Logan down, and see what he has to say before I go full-on Southern Spitfire on him, you know? I just want to know what I did wrong."

"Chica! You've done nothing wrong! He's the asshole, don't you ever let yourself believe you're not good enough!"

"Aw, thanks Jubes. But I need my proof before I kick him in the groin."

"Reasonable enough," Jubilee nodded, "Good luck, Chica. Remember, my door's always open for you."

* * *

He was late.

Their dinner was supposed to start at 6:45, on the nose. But he was late.

Marie checked her watch for the umpteenth time. 7:15.

"_Maybe he just forgot,"_ she thought.

That was a valid reason.

Marie finally decided to check his room, just in case he fell asleep or got sidetracked with a hockey game.

She jogged back inside, in hopes of finding Logan. She made her way up the large staircase, when a knock caught her attention.

Sure enough, it was Logan, wearing only a wife-beater and a pair of jeans. Knocking on the Red-Headed She-Devil's door.

Marie was wide-eyed in anger, humiliation, and disappointment.

When Jean finally answered the door, she was in a clingy black bodycon dress with a plunging neckline.

"You're late." she greeted.

"Can we get a move on it?" Logan growled.

"Hang on for a sec," she said, and disappeared.

Marie turned around before she could see anything else. She was sick to her stomach and could not believe what had just happened. All this time, she thought the Jean-thing was over and done with, buried, and forgotten. Clearly, she wasn't adequate enough to please a man. Hell, they were dating for a year, and didn't even share a room yet.

Furiously, she headed for Jubilee's room, and knocked as hard as she could.

When Jubilee flung the door open, the only words that came out of Marie's mouth was, "you were right."

* * *

Logan knocked on Jean's door.

It was 7:15, and he was supposed to be there at 7:00, but some idiot messed up the Danger Room simulation, so he got tied up in finding the perpetrator rather than getting actual, important shit done; such as securing the next three weeks with Marie.

He knocked on Jean's door.

"You're late," she said. Someone was in a good mood.

"Can we just get a move on it?" Logan replied with a growl.

"Hang on for a sec," Jean said, and slipped away from sight.

Logan couldn't help but snort at her get-up. Skin-tight was not helping her "classy" image.

Jean quickly reappeared with the keys.

"Three and a half weeks. That's all you get. I hired someone to clean it out tomorrow morning, and restock it with beer. Happy?"

Logan grunted in response.

"Now will you excuse me, I have a date in _five_ minutes," Jean scoffed as she shut the door.

It was no shock that Jean was already on _another_ rebound date...for her previous rebound date.

Logan began to wonder, how the hell was _she_ on a date, but he wasn't? He really needed to spend some more time with his girl.

Wait a minute; didn't Marie offer him some sort of dinner shindig?

"_No, that was supposed to be tomorrow."_ He thought, wracking his brain for any memento.

"_No, dumbass, that was tonight,"_ his inner monologue growled.

Trouble seemed to find The Wolverine all over again.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hi Everyone! Thanks for being patient with me. I know it's taking a while to get to this fic, but I cannot explain how busy I am! Anyways, here's the next chapter. Also: I'd like to give a huge thank you to Verthril for the last line :)**

* * *

As any good friend would, Jubilee let Marie bunk with her until morning. For whatever amount of time needed, she consoled her friend, rubbed her back, and tried her very best to provide some form of comfort. It didn't take long for Marie to fall into a less than graceful sleep, but Jubilee was relieved that she would at least get some form of beauty rest.

While Marie was asleep, Jubilee was up all night thinking of a way to conspire against Logan. Jubilee couldn't grasp the fact that Logan had betrayed Rogue. Jean was the infamous "Evil Bitch", and he'd chosen _that_ over Badass-Bombshell-Helluva Cook Roguey?!

Jubilee thought of a few interesting ways to make Logan pay for what he'd done. After all, revenge is a dish best served by Jubilation Lee.

The next morning, Marie cracked open her eyes at precisely 8:00 AM, to find Jubilee already awake, putting on a pair of earrings.

"I should've listened to you," a sleepy Marie mumbled.

"Hey, you were just trying to be reasonable. I would've kicked the cranky kitten on the spot, but at least you tried to be civil." Jubilee stated, turning away from her dresser.

"I really thought we got over the Jean-thing, but I guess not," Marie replied, solemnly, as she stretched and sat up on the bed.

"Babe, don't be upset!" Jubilee assured, and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I can't help it Jubes, I actually _love_ Logan. It was way more than a school-girl crush," she said, "I feel like such an idiot. You wait till tonight. I'll give him a good ass kick."

"Chica, we're women. We don't get mad. We get _even._" Jubilee smirked.

Marie's eyebrows perked up, "continue…"

"I did tell Wolvie that if he ever pissed me off, I'd post embarrassing photos all over his timeline."

"Hmm, and I _do_ think I could supply you with some," Marie replied

"Girl, that's the attitude I'm looking for!" Jubilee smiled, as she plopped down next to her friend on the bed.

Marie grabbed her phone as well, and began looking for some material that they could work with.

As she scrolled through her album, she found a few potentially interesting photos: Logan scratching his butt, Logan in a pair of tighty whities, Logan picking his nose with a claw.

Jubilee peered over her friends shoulder to see all the – _weird _– pictures of Wolvie.

"Oh my god, how can you stand all that?" Jubilee asked, crinkling her nose when Marie enlarged the "Wolvie picking his nose" picture.

Marie snorted, "Love is blind, Jubes."

The pair sat together giggling and grimacing of all the strange pictures that Marie managed to take of the Big Bad Wolverine, until one thumbnail attracted Jubilee's attention.

"Oooh, babe! What about _that!_" she said, as she pointed to the photo.

Marie nearly kicked herself for forgetting the particular picture that Jubilee had chosen.

She tapped on the thumbnail, and Jubilee nearly choked when she saw the picture close-up.

It was a beautiful shot of Logan, passed out on the rec room sofa – wearing hooker makeup, and a frilly pink bra. Whoever had worked on the masterpiece was also able to put cute little braids in his hair. The finishing touch was the beer he was still nursing in his hand, but Jubilee was too busy dying of laughter to notice.

"Oh-my…I can't…breathe – when did?! – " Jubilee managed to choke out.

Marie, also laughing from the photograph, eventually replied.

"Remember that crazy mission when Magneto attacked congress?" Marie explained, "Logan was so wiped out after that because of all the strain on his metal through his entire body. So when he got home, washed up, and indulged in a hockey game, he passed out. Then, the kids decided to give him a little makeover."

"Those kids are amazing!" Jubilee squealed

"Aren't they?" Marie smiled, "He couldn't even sense a thing, he was out like a light. I managed to sneak a picture in, and he never found out. The kids got some serious yelling and snarls after, but they thought it was worth it."

"Bless those kiddies, because _this_ is the best form of revenge I can think of!" Jubilee replied, triumphantly.

"Remind me to _never_ piss you off, Jubes," Marie joked.

* * *

Logan attempted to find Marie after he realized what a dumbass he could really be.

How the hell could he forget about the dinner that Marie planned for ages? He ran through possible scenarios in his mind. Maybe she was pissed, and would punch a hole right through his chest the moment she saw him. Or maybe she'd be so upset that she wouldn't talk to him, and try her damn best to avoid him at all costs. He couldn't deal with either of them, because this was _Marie_, not Scooter, not Storm, and definitely not Jubilee. All Logan knew, was that he'd have to make it up to her.

He sniffed out where Marie could possibly be, only to discover that she'd spent the night with the Firecracker for the night.

"_Great," _he thought, _"she was definitely pissed, or upset. Possibly both."_

Hearing only evened out breathing; he knew the duo was asleep.

Deciding not to intrude, since he knew Marie could get grumpy when woken up, he padded off to his room to figure out how he'd fix the shit-storm he'd created.

"_The Boathouse," _he'd finally thought of.

Of course! He'd unveil the keys to Chuck's Boathouse, explain to Marie _why_ he was late in the first place, and things would eventually smooth over. Simple as that.

* * *

***beep beep!*******

Logan stirred on his bed with a grunt, and checked the time – 12:00 PM. He was in the mood to sleep half the day away, but his stupid phone had gone off at least twenty times in the past hour.

What the hell was so important on that damn blue website that couldn't wait until 2:00 PM?

He threw the white sheet off of him, and rolled over to grab his phone, illuminated on his nightstand.

When he unlocked his phone, his eyes were assaulted with notifications.

"Bobby Drake, Hank McCoy, and 17 others like a photo you were tagged in"

"Scott Summers commented on a photo you were tagged in: 'You engage in such emasculating activities, yet you have the audacity to label me as a Pansy?'"

"Ororo Munroe commented a photo you were tagged in: 'My, My, Logan. Don't you realize that pink is not your colour?'"

"Remy LeBeau commented on a photo you were tagged in: 'Seems like the Wolfman ain't so big and bad after all?'"

"Charles Xavier commented on a photo you were tagged in: 'Logan, I must say, of all skills I could imagine, I would have never guessed that you were capable of "pulling off" the braided hair look."

Okay, what the fuck was going on? What were these people talking about?

He managed to scroll past the comments to find one notification that explained it all.

"Jubilation Lee has tagged you in a photo."

He should've known that Jubilee was the culprit to the stupid comments. He quickly tapped on the highlighted yellow rectangle, and the picture that greeted him made him want to stab the Obnoxious Firecracker in the neck.

It was a picture of him wearing _makeup_! With a bra on! And with braids in his hair! He remembered yelling at the kids who managed to pull the stunt, but he didn't know some punk got a picture of it too! And that punk just so happened to be Jubilation Lee.

Logan got out of bed with furious rage, and had only one goal in his mind. He was going to find Jubilee, and make her pay.

After slipping on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, Logan flung open his room door and began his hunt.

Logan hurried down the grand stairs of the mansion, only to find himself ridiculed by the students. Didn't the brats realize that he had hypersensitive hearing? He heard all their little sly comments about his cheekbones, and lipstick. In exchange, Logan growled and snarled at the kids with enough ferocity to scare them off.

As he walked briskly through the halls, he bumped into possibly the worst person he could deal with at the moment.

"Logan."

"Scooter."

"Logan, I would say something insulting, but you've embarrassed yourself enough." Scott calmly stated.

"Still a Pansy," Logan grunted, and stalked off.

"Hey, I'm not the one in a push-up bra!" Scott called after him.

Logan continued to walk away, and gave Scott the finger as he made his way down the hall.

After snarling at some other rude kids, questioning his manliness, he made his way towards the kitchen.

As Logan turned the corner, he finally saw it. He spotted the Yellow Blob, bouncing away, without a care in the world. As the Loudmouth grabbed a bottle of mustard, he bolted straight towards her.

Logan stalked towards Jubilee, grabbed her by the shoulder, and spun her around.

"YOU!"

* * *

Jubilee was doing regular, nice, and considerate best-friend things. Rogue really wasn't in the mood to get out of bed, even though their little Facebook stunt had made her feel a bit better.

Was that a problem? Of course not! Jubilee was an awesome friend, and she decided to fix the two something to eat and bring it up to her bestie.

Things were going fine and dandy, and until a large hairy hand grabbed her shoulder and spun her away from the delicious and kickass sandwiches she was making.

"YOU!" Logan growled, with a claw threatening to slice off her nose.

"Woah! What the heck, Wolvie? Did someone kick over your litter box or something?" Jubilee asked, incredulously.

"Cut the crap!" Logan yelled, "Why the hell did you post that picture of me on Facebook?"

"What picture?" Jubilee asked, feigning innocence.

"You know I'm not that old," Logan growled, "and you have five seconds to answer, or you're gonna have to grow a new nose!"

"Why are you getting all pissy with me for?" Jubilee argued, "that's what you get for cheating on Rogue, you asshole!"

"What?" Logan asked, irritated, "I didn't - and wouldn't - cheat on Rogue. Ever."

"Yeah?" Jubilee challenged, "So why did you like Jean's relationship status on Facebook?"

"What relationship status?" Logan replied, as he unsheathed the claws. Jubilee realized that Logan was truly confused about the situation. Maybe he _was_ innocent after all. Logan was a really old dude, and the oh-so embarrassing Social Media Noob.

"Ugh, nevermind that, then. But why did I see you come out of Jean's room the other day, lookin' all….messy?" Jubilee asked, using her hands to imitate an afro.

"'Ro's ferret cut loose from its cage and Jean asked me to find the damned thing. That sucker can run! He kept wriggling out of my grip, but we managed to catch him when he was busy chewin' on Jean's hair."

Wait, what?

"So you're telling me that you were never hopping the sack with Jean?" Jubilee inquired, one last time. Just for clarity.

"What are you, a goldfish? I just told you that I was tryin' to help her catch Storm's ferret. Besides, I only did it to get the boathouse for me and Marie for a while."

"Really?" Jubilee replied, eyes lighting up, "That is so sweet, Logan!"

"Yeah, yeah. So where's Marie?" he asked.

"Well…"

Logan knew that look. It was the "Marie-is-upset-at-you-but-it-was-really-just-a-mi sunderstanding" look.

It was time to haul his blazing ass out of the fire.

* * *

**Review please! :)**


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